from Stanislaw Warda: The Game

                                                                               The Game 

  It was her time, she knew it, she knew she had to finish her job. She was the only one left from the whole staff at this stadium. Both coaches were removed already by the t, so the whole responsibility to successfully finish this game relied on her. She was the only one who could led this game.

This caused her to feel anger toward herself, for her ambitions, stubborn nature, and her stupidity. “I am so stupid” she repeated. “Stupid bitch”, she repeated inside her mind, “stupid pointless bitch.” She had a very good job as a sport doctor in one of many training centers, and the last thing she dreamed about was to become the national soccer team doctor. She was so angry at herself because of her weak character. In her mind other people’s ideas were better. “Go with them” -repeated her fellow doctors, “it will not last long. They are weak and they will lose in the first round; you will be back soon, and the pay is good” they said. She finally agreed. 

  Things had changed. The team had been very ambitious and won not only the first round but step by step they easily beat   many famous teams, and now they were playing in the final. She had been with them all this time. She worked hard with them, doing hard massages and other procedures. When they had muscle cramps, she made dressings for scratches and bruises, and she listened to laughter and jokes about her from the stands when she had to perform more complicated procedures, sometimes between the legs of soccer players.

Now she had what she desired. The stadium was roaring, but she stayed near the main line with two boards. In the back of her head she heard the word of the  main coach “All of us  are a team , everybody plays in this game.” There are 17 minutes left to end this game, but the result its undecided. She observed this game carefully. She saw how the main coach held two boards for a long time requesting  to change two players, but the main referee ignored it. She had seen when he finally lost his patience, ran to the center of the field, and showed the boards in front of  the main soccer referee’s eyes .  The decision of the referee could only be one. She had seen how the main coach walked toward the locker room. He only managed to shout at the second coach. “You know what to do.” She had seen in disbelief how the second coach stayed on the edge of the main line of the field with the same boards for many minutes. It was the same scenario and like before, the referee decided to gesture, so he also had to leave the field.

Now she stayed together with a few reserved players. She was scared and angry. She did not know what to do. She was a doctor, so she had to keep her cool, take care of the players’ health and not get emotional. How to do it? She had spent with them the whole way to this final game, she knew them exactly , she  knew how much work , ambitions, and health they gave. She had seen that the referee was not impartial, fair, and perhaps bribed. She still observed how hard they worked, but she noticed that a few players lost their power. The main coach had noticed it and commented loudly, so she knew what to do; the white boards with numbers of players still lay near the line of the field. 

She was so scared, at that moment she hated herself, her doctor friends who had convinced her to go for this game, and everybody. She still hesitated and repeated inside her mind “I am a doctor , I did my job coaching is not my business , but nobody else is here .” She recalled the words of main coach “we all are players.” It is true, in this final game she did not have much work only  scratches  – these ideas did not help. -She felt powerless. From the corner of her eyes, she saw how the digits of the huge watch showed 10 minutes to the end. “The end which would be wasted time, she thought. She was alone and at that moment she did not know what she should do, but she remembered other  time , the time when she was alone, but somehow she could find proper resolutions. Schools ,  university exams , and other  hard exams – led  her to feel alone, but she felt through her skin that her decisions were proper. Now she thought, “I do not have to do anything, but if I do not, they will lose.”

She could not stand it. She took the white board which announced the change of players and stayed on the line of the field . The stadium roared with more intensity, but she did not hear it. When the main referee looked at her, she crossed the line. She did not want to wait for his decisions. Holding the board, touching the stethoscope, and stomping her feet, she started shouting at the referee. "You can't remove me, the match can't take place without a doctor. We need to change two players” she shouted. The main referee was confused. It was vivid how he hesitated. He didn't know what to do. He whirled around, looked at the stands as if he wanted help from the spectators.  But the stadium fell silent as if waiting for something special. He whirled again but the stadium seemed to say “ don’t look at us deal with it yourself.” After a while he finally nodded his head. She did not think too much, she pushed two players on the field and only said to them  “Do this job.”

She came back to  her place exhausted and wondered how she was able to find the strength to do it. Five minutes before the end of this game, one of the players who had entered the game scored a goal.She did not know if she would enjoy the score. Now she was sure and did not hesitate for a long time. She knew that the referee would add additional time to the game. Somehow, she did not like this referee and was afraid he would do something out of anger.  Unconsciously, she grabbed a stopwatch and pressed it when the main clock pointed to the end of the game. It should not be more than 3 minutes, she thought. The stopper tips seemed to move so slowly that she had to watch if it was still working. After three minutes, she moved along the line of the field showing the stopwatch and screaming at the referee “the time has passed, it is over.”

The referee pretended that he did not hear her voice but she was somehow sure that although he hated her at that moment, he did not have to many possibilities. Similarly, she also had enough. She was completely burned out and the only thing she could do was run along the line and shout at him, nothing more. Although she was exhausted, she was somehow calm; she somehow knew that she had done her job and more than enough. Finally it happened, she heard the long whistle signal. She sat on the ground and covered her face. Someone ran up and hugged her, then someone else; someone ruffled her hair. She heard the loud applause which accompanies the winner, but she felt like something was next to her , like she were watching a movie. She got up from the ground, wiped her nose and eyes, and looked around.